I’ve never been a fan of coloring books. As a child I don’t remember liking them, and as an adult they always seemed to me to stifle imagination. Boy, I was wrong. I can tell I was wrong because a child showed me.
As parents, we all start out with definite opinions about this or that. When it comes to changing your mind, I say let the child lead you.
My 5-year-old loves coloring. In his hands, a coloring book sparks his imagination. He can’t yet read, so coloring is the way he interacts with books and topics that excite him. Right now he adores stories about the American Revolution and coloring intricate pictures of his heroes like knights and firefighters. As he colors, he brings the ideas alive from the page. Then he acts out the story. There’s no question coloring books stimulate him and meet a deep need.
It took us a while to figure this out. My aversion to coloring books at first blocked me from seeing his need. I had no intention of buying a coloring book, but he kept showing us his need to color. He colored his blanket, his wall, scraps of paper, his favorite library book. He longed to color every storybook he owned. Finally, I saw it. So I changed my mind.
I’ve seen this happen over and over again to parents who swear they will never let their child engage in certain play. “I was one of those mothers who was never going to let her child play with toy weapons,” parents repeatedly tell me. “Tyler changed my mind. And by the time my third child came along, we had quite a collection.” Or “I didn’t want to raise my girl to dress in pink and play with fairies. But it’s so strong in her.”
It’s OK to change your mind. Healthy parents change their minds all along the way. The key is to change your mind for good reasons.
All behavior has meaning. A child deserves to have his/ her play needs met. Change your mind or methods to fit the need, whether it’s getting play clothes for mud digging, allowing stick swords, accepting fairies in your home, or even (gasp) buying a coloring book.
So go ahead and change your mind. Let the child lead you.
What have YOU changed your mind about? What types of play does your child like that bothers you?
