Let a little child lead you to change your adult mind.
I've never been a fan of coloring books. As a child I don't remember liking them, and as an adult they always seemed to me to stifle imagination. Boy, I was wrong. I can tell I was wrong because a child showed me.
As parents, we all start out with definite opinions about this or that. When it comes to changing your mind, I say let the child lead you.
My 5-year-old loves coloring. In his hands, a coloring book sparks his imagination. He can't yet read, so coloring is the way he interacts with books and topics that excite him. Right now he adores stories about the American Revolution and coloring intricate pictures of his heroes like knights and firefighters. As he colors, he brings the ideas alive from the page. Then he acts out the story. There's no question coloring books stimulate him and meet a deep need.
It took us a while to figure this out. My aversion to coloring books at first blocked me from seeing his need. I had no intention of buying a coloring book, but he kept showing us his need to color. He colored his blanket, his wall, scraps of paper, his favorite library book. He longed to color every storybook he owned. Finally, I saw it. So I changed my mind.
I've seen this happen over and over again to parents who swear they will never let their child engage in certain play. "I was one of those mothers who was never going to let her child play with toy weapons," parents repeatedly tell me. "Tyler changed my mind. And by the time my third child came along, we had quite a collection." Or "I didn't want to raise my girl to dress in pink and play with fairies. But it's so strong in her."
It's OK to change your mind. Healthy parents change their minds all along the way. The key is to change your mind for good reasons.
All behavior has meaning. A child deserves to have his/ her play needs met. Change your mind or methods to fit the need, whether it's getting play clothes for mud digging, allowing stick swords, accepting fairies in your home, or even (gasp) buying a coloring book.
So go ahead and change your mind. Let the child lead you.
What have YOU changed your mind about? What types of play does your child like that bothers you?
Heather - You've hit the nail on the head in this post:
Not much is written in stone. Most everything has flexibility — wiggle room.
I resonate with your wise observation: "Healthy parents change their minds all along the way." And the attached caveat: "The key is to change your mind for good reasons."
Thanks! Glad it resonated. Sometimes changing our minds can be the hardest work we do.
Heather, I forbid coloring books in my house because Janet and Lee forbid them! However my kids at least once saved their allowance to buy a coloring book. I too learned from my kids and now I say moderation in all things! Jan
Ah, wise woman. Coloring books do exist for a reason, we just need to keep making sure it's a child's reason. Good for you!
I have heard from another person about the anti-coloring book philosophy and personally I don't get it. I LOVED coloring in coloring books growing up and I was the kind of girl who outlined everything perfectly and then colored it in "the way it was supposed to be" (probably the start of my controlling, neat freak nature). I'm all for creativity, but sometimes coloring is just fun coloring.
Just plain fun - you said it. Thanks for sharing your story and standing up for coloring books!
My son loved the Dover coloring books that had good information as well as great pics to color. I also love the Susan Stryker Anti-coloring books, which allows the kids to fill in most of the drawing and gives them tons of creative ideas about things to draw.
Emily, thanks for writing. Yes, the Dover books are great and now we have a small stack of them. Thanks for sharing the "anti-coloring books." Those are new to me!
[...] get your trousers dirty. You need to share that toy.) It does not undermine your authority to change your boundaries, as long as you’re doing it because you think it’s right and not because you want to [...]