Summer is a time for exploring more than entertaining.
This week I was asked to write an article on how to "entertain" kids during the summer. It's supposed to be tips for parents so having the kids home all summer doesn't drive you crazy. The thing is, I don't really believe in entertaining kids.
Maybe this is part of my "renegade parenting." After all, I'm writing a book about this topic so I suppose it's expected that my parenting views counteract the norm. Here's what I believe in instead:
Creativity - When kids are left to their own devices they get creative and PLAY. All sorts of imaginative games with all sorts of creative props. When my two kids spontaneously fall into a make-believe game, my job is to stay out of the way and offer supplies like cardboard when needed.
Boredom - We need to let children be bored. To daydream. To gaze at ceiling cracks and clouds. Our job is not to entertain children every moment. It's OK if they do not seem to be doing anything all the time.
Reading - Stories, stories, stories. Whether it comes from reading aloud, singing songs or looking at picture books by themselves or listening to a book on CD. Summertime is meant for reading.
Daily rhythms - Even in the bliss of summer days, kids should know what's expected each day. Get dressed by a certain hour, have an outing each day. Go outside every day at least twice a day.
Work - I'm talking about chores, which for very young kids is mostly personal responsibility. Putting their clothes away, picking up toys, bussing their dishes after a meal. This is not entertainment, but young kids often enjoy learning these skills and the sense of independence it brings.
Experiences - I guess this is as close as I get to "entertainment." Experiences can be walks by the river, visits to museums, play at the beach, camping trips, an outing to see owls at the nature center. These are places I go out of my way to take my kids to so they can discover and experience the larger world.
Relationships - Equally as important as experiences are relationships. I spend my time helping the kids get to know their neighbors, modeling caring acts, and putting them in the company of a variety of people. It's far more important for them to see me taking care of an elderly neighbor than "entertaining" them.
Adult time - Kids take a backseat to adult needs sometimes. For me this happens at least three times a day: early morning (my sacred writing time when nobody can bother me until 7am), nap time (or quiet time for my older child), and evening. After bedtime stories are through, it's adult time for the rest of the evening. The kids know they can't intrude.
I've never really thought my job was to entertain kids (except maybe during my stint as a camp counselor; even then it was so much more). My job is to raise kids, to give them the freedom and space they need to explore the world. Entertainment is pre-packaged fun - good fun, maybe, but usually following someone else's idea. Summer is an excellent time for kids to learn to follow their own ideas. In fact, it's essential. Kids need that time to recharge after being told what to do during the whole school year.
Were you entertained as a child? What were your favorite summer days like?
Heather - I love this post!
I grew up Tom Sawyer style and we tried to pass that along to our son (almost 29 now). Part of that philosophy is not having a television (we haven't had one for over 32 years).
As a minimalist, we don't have "things" to take care of -- that, in turn, leaves us with time and space to cultivate our inner ecology; to insure that our inner landscape blossoms.
Two great points, Laurie! Each "thing" we have takes up our time. Which is more important? And when is there time for TV?
I'm with you 100% on this post, Heather. 🙂
I most certainly was not entertained as a child and I'm grateful every day to my parents for that.
The perfect summer day for me would be to hop on my bike and join my friends playing baseball, hide and seek, "army," kick-it-and run, or running around in the sprinkler on really hot days. We'd come home for lunch, inhale a dish of Chef Boyardee Ravioli and a PB&J, wash it down with a glass of milk or Kool-Aid, then head back out until dinner time.
On rainy summer days, I'd go up into our attic playroom and play with my slot car racing track, goof around with my GI Joes, or play board games with friends or siblings.
When I had the proverbial "I'm bored and there's nothing to do" day, Mom would just shove me out the door and say, "Go find your friends and play," or, "Whatever you are going to do, do it OUTSIDE."
We did the usual family experience things: camping, bike hikes, picnics at the beach, an occasional trip to a museum, but that was never considered being entertained by my parents. It was just, "We're all going on a bike hike. Period." We didn't expect it of Mom or Dad, just accepted that this was how the rules went.
One of the things I truly lament about American society today is the lack of freedom and unorganized play time children have. I think "unorganized play time" is an oxymoron. Such a shame.
Chris
Love your mom - "Whatever you are going to do, do it OUTSIDE." Excellent words. We need to hear more of that. Also love the outings "this is what we're going to do." Parents give so many choices to kids, it's easy for kids to slip into being bossy and over-privileged.
Sounds as if you grew up in the right era! Kids need that space and unstructured time no matter when they grow up.