Reading Aloud for a Lifetime

When your child begins reading, it's NOT time to stop reading aloud.

My first child learned to read early. Soon after, he announced, "I don't need bedtime stories anymore. I can read by myself." He made the same mistake many adults make: that reading aloud is only for the very young.

Reading aloud can be a crucial part of parenting - and you're never too old. My mother read to me all the way through high school. I read bedtime stories to both my children. One is heading to middle school next year; he's not too old. Reading aloud is a beautiful way to share the world, and it gives kids a second level of literacy.

Children can read at one level. They can comprehend story and grasp vocabulary at a much higher level when being read to. Both are needed to get excited about books.

Being read to is a lovely and loving experience. My husband and I read to each other while courting. My parents still read books to each other after 50 years of marriage. At family get togethers, my children listen while grandpa reads them story poems. I hope they'll always remember his resonant voice and love of language. You're never too old to be read a story.

Reasons to celebrate reading aloud -

Joy and interest - Learning to read can be hard work. Reading aloud keeps stories pleasurable. Kids who are working hard to master reading crave stories beyond "The bug is on the rug." They also love stories with much more complex characters and plot than simple readers offer. Reading aloud lets kids fall in love with books at their listening age, not their reading level.

Expanding literacy - Together you can decipher the vocabulary in Robert Louis Stevenson's Treasure Island. The learning level kids can handle when being read to is far higher than what they can read on their own. Five-year-olds can glory in complex story and vocabulary. Sometimes the rhythm of the words alone excites them. For teens, try reading a difficult-to-get-into book for the first few chapters until they get into the story and take off on their own.

Introduce new books - Kids love series partly because they feel comfortable with a cast of familiar characters. Rereading old favorites is wonderful, but reading aloud lets you introduce your child to new favorites. One good way is to read the first book in a series together, then let your reader explore the rest of the series on her own.

Complex topics - Reading aloud lets you introduce topics like facing death (Tuck Everlasting) and injustice (Bud, not Buddy). If you don't know which books to choose, ask a children's librarian. There are books on all sorts of tough topics.

Supplementing school - Schools fit in a lot, but they can't cover everything. Reading aloud lets you add to your child's world, say by reading a children's version of the Hindu epic of the Ramayana.

Closeness - You loved snuggling with your preschooler on your lap as you shared a good book. Reading aloud to your 10-year-old or teen lets this closeness keep going.

There's no upper age limit for reading aloud. It's not just for children and not just for picture books and early chapter books. Reading aloud can last a lifetime.

Have you stopped reading to your children? Do you read aloud to anyone in your life? What age were you read to as a child?

Modern Memorization

Poems and family trees both deserve to be memorized.

When my grandmother was losing her memory, she still remembered the poetry she had memorized as a girl. She had no idea who I was ("this is my great friend...(pause) tell me again how we met?"), but out for a walk together she would stop and gaze with joy at a tree. From the depths of her memory she would recite:

I think that I shall never see, a poem lovely as a tree...

She was from an era that taught poetry recitation in school. Maybe she picked it up on her own or learned it from her parents, but the point is she had a suite of poetry at her command. Poetry to fit every mood - happy or melancholy.

In this era of INFORMATION, we hardly memorize anything. Need an answer? Pick up the smartphone. Need a poem? Google it. Memorization seems as quaint as a horse and buggy.

Yet I think there's a place for it. One reason to memorize is to meet our human emotions. Words inside, at the ready, for any human occasion - grief, loneliness, silliness, joy. Like lyrics from a song, poetry can meet many moods and burst out of us when we need it. What else should we memorize? Here are some ideas.

Home and family Young kids should memorize their address and phone number, plus their parents' actual names. That's for simple safety. But I also think it's worthwhile for kids to memorize some family heritage. What are their grandparents' names? Where did they come from? What are some important family stories? Family oral history is a strong force which grounds children in their heritage and identity. Kids in some cultures can recite their family history several generations back.

Songs and poems Songs are easy to memorize, but we need to make sure that we don't just stick with "happy" songs. Sing sad songs to kids, sing songs about longings, missing people, feeling lonely, being angry -- the range of human emotion. We're all bound to experience these feelings throughout life. Songs that match our many moods are good life companions. Read poems to kids they might not quite understand, ones that set a mood. Verses we memorize young stay with us.

Language As English speakers, we're cursed with a peculiar language where spelling and pronunciation do not match. Conventional spelling therefore must be memorized -- but not too soon. It's more important to write and read and find joy in literacy. As an author, I'm a big proponent of letting kids write stories and spell any ole which way when they're writing. Memorize spelling on the side and eventually writing and spelling will mesh.

Basic brain tools Knowing the multiplication tables by heart saves time. Sure, we can look it up, but it slows other thinking if we don't know 6x6 instantaneously. The same is true of memorizing key signatures for music students, or other commonly used data.

Of course, we can set out to memorize at any age, but the words, songs and ideas that we memorize when we're young tend to last a lifetime. What should we fill our heads with? What should we fill our children's heads with? What is important enough to require memorization?

What sort of things do you have memorized? Is there a need any more? Do you see value in having kids memorize stories, songs or poems?

Sharing Sad Stories

The tomb of Penelope Boothby, age 5.

When I was five, my aunt sent me letter I'll never forget. It was a loving letter, but a sad story. It began like this:

Now I'm going to tell you the story of little Penelope Boothby. I met her last week when I was traveling about the country with Granny and Grandpa visiting very old and famous English churches. At least, I didn't exactly meet her. She's been dead for almost 200 years, you see.

Poor little Penelope was only 5 years old when she died. She was apparently very pretty and very clever. Her parents were very proud of her. Too proud, in fact. They wanted her to see and do and learn everything. At the age of 5 she could speak, as well as English, Italian, French and Latin. Well, it was all too much for her. She just lay down and died. Isn't that a sad story? But she looks very peaceful and happy in the picture, curled up and fast asleep. And that, my dear, is the story of Penelope Boothby. The End.

She enclosed a postcard showing the chiseled form of Penelope on her tomb and copied out the tomb inscription: "She was in form and intellect most exquisite. The unfortunate parents ventured their all on this frail bark, and the wreck was total." (Ashbourne, England, 1791)

As a child I spent hours gazing at the forlorn form of Penelope and thinking about her story. For one thing, I felt very grown up to receive such a letter. But I was also intrigued because it didn't have a happy ending.

Life sometimes doesn't.

Kids need all kinds of stories. Not just the kind where everything ties up neatly and everyone is rich and comfortable and lives joyfully ever after. We need to share sad stories, tragic stories, real stories, too. The story of Penelope touched my heart. Thinking about her made me want to meet her and invent new endings. It made me a bit more human.

Kids books are getting happier these days. They're changing the endings and removing conflict. Chicken Little doesn't get eaten by a fox anymore -- he goes home safely to live with his friends. But we need sad stories in the mix, and we need to have the courage to share them with young children. Stories that make us think, ponder and touch our heart.

What sad stories do you remember from childhood? What impact did they have? Why do you think we need sad stories?