The other day I visited yet another kindergarten classroom where the teachers called all the kids “Friends.”  “These four friends go to the water table,” she said “and these four friends go to snack…” Somehow there’s an urge to call all young kids friends.

The truth is they’re not all friends.  Just because they’re all short, small and young doesn’t mean they all like each other.  Friendship is something to be treasured.  Calling all kids in a classroom or playground “friends” is inaccurate and disrespectful.

A friend is someone to be valued and cherished.  Someone who laughs at the same things, enjoys your ideas, keeps you company, sticks by you, disagrees and makes up.  Friendships usually start around age 3 and form some of our most blessed bonds in life.  We ought to reserve the word friend for describing real friends.  Calling everyone a friend devalues the word.  It also confuses kids who are just beginning to learn about friendship.

Think about Charlotte’s Web.  There are lots of animals in the barn, but they are just barn-mates.  Charlotte and Fern are Wilbur’s friends.

What to call them instead?  Classmates, neighbors, children.

Why do some adults use the term “friends” indiscriminately?”  I believe it’s an earnest desire to create peace in the next generation.  But it’s a false peace.  Kids only gain peace skills by practicing conflict mediation.

Just like adults, kids don’t have to like every person they meet.  It’s OK to have favorites.  It’s healthy and natural.  Let kids enjoy their first friendships –and treat others with respect.

“A friend may well be reckoned a masterpiece of nature.”  Ralph Waldo Emerson

How about you?  Are you treating all your social media “friends” the same as real-life friendships?  Are you neglecting your deep friendships?