Is it your idea to have a dancer in the family, or hers?
Karate. Ballet. Soccer. Swimming. Hockey. Art lessons. Music lessons. Theater class. Children's choir. The number of enrichment classes out there for children is mind-blowing. Chances are, if you have kids, you've signed your child up for one of these fun-filled classes. Or maybe three or four.
When it comes time to decide whether to sign up again, do some careful thought. Besides the obvious overscheduling concern, ask yourself this: is this class really for me or for my child?
Children's interests come and go. They may like to try tap dance, then give basketball a go. As a parent, it can be hard to know whether you should encourage your child to stay longer with trumpet lessons or acting class, and reap the rewards of getting better, or decide that this particular activity has run its course.
Ask yourself what prompted you to sign up your child for this activity in the first place? Was it your ideas or hers? Did it come from her personality or yours? Then re-evaluate.
It's fun to sign up. It's fun to try new things. Stopping - even a child quitting a music or sports program - can seem like failure. It can be hard to let go.
That's true even if you're a parent. Most enrichment activities create a parent culture that's comfortable to be part of. When your child plays soccer, you take on the role of a soccer mom or dad, when your child does ballet, you get used to the ritual of dance recitals and doing hair in buns (Yes, I've even had to learn to do my son's hair in a bun as a ballet mother. Not only does he dance, but he grows his hair long enough it needs to be pinned up.). Kids, too, get caught up in doing the same thing year after year.
Be sure to check-in. Childhood is about exploring and learning, so don't forget to take turns with activities from time to time. "You want to try baseball? OK, let's do that this spring. You can go back to drum lessons if you find you want to." Beware of the danger of simply adding and adding activities, or continuing something because it's become a habit.
Enrichment classes today are sometimes just for fun, but often as you get to higher levels there's a push for the child to commit to this activity to the exclusion of other interests. Travel sports teams. Extra rehearsals. Higher levels. Specialized camps just for basketball or choir. Some kids love the intense focus. But childhood is a time of discovery, not necessarily improving skills.
Remember children are just kids discovering themselves. They're not projects. They're not here to live out our dreams. They're here to find their own.
