Packing lunch is a cinch - but only if you've got the right emotions to go with it.
I trained both my kids to pack their own lunch boxes before the start of school. The other day I finished my morning routine early and casually asked my 8-year-old if he wanted help.
"Help?!" he retorted, scorn in his voice. "What would I need help for? This is easy!"
He's right. It is easy. Fruit, protein, sandwich, water bottle filled with water, nutritious snack, spoon if you need one. Put it all in. Zip it up. My offer to help was preposterous. It undermined his capable independence.
I'm a big advocate for play, but I also love it when kids WORK. I think we forget sometimes that chores we consider "work" are new skills for kids and provide them with a wonderful sense of independence, power and competency. He's right - it is easy. He can do it. And when other kids at school say "I wonder what did my dad/mom packed in my lunch box?" he can say "I know what I have. I packed it myself."
But there's also a flip side. Much as taking control of chores gives our kids a surge of good feelings of independence, it can also be too much. Lunch packing is easy - my kindergartener can do it - but he can't handle it right now. It's not the physical action that's hard, it's the emotions. At this stage, he's using all his emotional energy just getting dressed, brushing his teeth and adhering to the schedule of school buses. One more thing and he'd crack.
When to introduce a new chore and responsibility?
Try individualizing it by child and temperament. I like to give my oldest one new jobs (making the bed) when he's about 1 year past being physically ready. Then the job is easy and no burden. It works best for my youngest one if he gets a new job just before he can do it well physically - being a younger sibling he seeks the emotional pride of being able to do something beyond his years.
Have you seen pride and self-confidence grow when children work? Do you consider emotional as well as physical readiness for new life steps?
I admire that you assign tasks by child, temperament, and capability.
Thanks, Laurie. I remember your parents also tailored tasks to fit each child. Personalities do come different!