Making time to be with nature is one of the missing ingredients in many children's lives.
My kids got to bed too late last night. Sure, it was 7:30pm and 8:50pm, but that's too late to meet their sleep needs. Even half an hour of sleep deprivation makes a huge difference for children's learning, memory, behavior and happiness.
This got me thinking about what we routinely deprive our children of. What's missing in their lives. What's truly important that we need to make more time for in family life.
Lack of Nature
Nature is the best, oldest and most imaginative toy - the possibilities to play with mud, sticks, trees, boulders and pine cones are endless. We all need to connect to the earth in order to be fully human and to care about life on our planet. When a child is emotionally wound up, taking him outside can bring relief. There's something about being outside. If you live near a park or can find a tree, the benefits ratchet up even more. Medical research backs this up - in Japan they've studied the marvelous difference walking in the forest can do to decrease stress and improve health. They call it "forest-bathing."
Teaching healthy sleep habits is among the greatest gifts we can give our children.
Lack of Sleep
Our children are sleep deprived. With early work schedules -- getting kids to before-school-care at 6am -- or even early school bus times, kids ages 4 and older are consistently up too early. And they stay up too late. Some children do not even have bedtimes. Yet kids need enormous amounts of sleep. How much? For preschoolers it's 11-13 hours (including naps) and for school-age kids it's 10-11 hours. For most kids, that means bedtime at 7pm or 8pm. (see The Sleep Foundation)
Achievement-driven America often considers sleep a waste of time, but shortage of sleep harms learning, memory, focus, problem-solving, the immune system and, of course, emotional stability. My friend who's a high school teacher routinely assigns sleep as homework to her students, especially before a test. Those who go to bed earlier (and don't study) get better scores.
Lack of Downtime
Play, staring into space and goofing around are essential. Learning, creativity, imagination, problem-solving, persistence, empathy - all these good things come when kids pursue their own play ideas. While we rush to fill out children's days with "enrichment" activities, we need to remember the enriching ideas already inside our children's minds. Give them respect: time and space to flourish. (Benefits of play article)
The mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be kindled. - Plutarch
We can kindle it best with nature, sleep and play.
What would you add to this list? How are you doing on getting enough of these three things for your child and yourself? What could you change?
Earlier bedtimes for kids is also beneficial to parents! I need that couple hours every evening to unwind. It makes me a happier mommy the next day.
Hear! Hear!
Your friend the high school teacher? Give her a hug from me- that's totally awesome. I'm telling all my teacher friends.
Wonderful! We're always trying to find ways to help kids learn...yet the best way is so simple.
I'm a big advocate of family dinner. The simple connection of gathering around food with conversation provides valuable connection time and reinforces healthy eating habits.
I'm a big advocate of that, too. Our daughter eats a bigger meal and a larger variety of foods, trying new things more readily, when we're sitting down together. She's also learning how to make conversation and how to set and clear the table.
The family dinner - also vanishing. Thanks for bringing that up, Rachel. I'd love to sit around your table.
Love the staring into space one! I have to admit that is my favorite downtime activity! Great post again!
I give a huge shout out for more exposure to nature! Can't stress enough the importance of knowing that humans are part of this vast ecosystem called planet earth and that everything we do has a direct or indirect effect on every other living being.
I also second the family dinner comment. We took it for granted when I was a kid, but in the 21st century, family dinner seems like an antiquated concept.
I suggest something that's missing for young children is a family road trip vacation. We started those when my older sister was about 9, I was 8, and my brother was 4. We'd pack up a pop-up camper, head to state parks for a week, or the BWCA, or out west to the Black Hills or Grand Teton National Park, and do the kind of bonding that doesn't come with merely living in the same house year round.
24-hour-per-day contact stresses all family members enough that you see each at their weak points sooner or later. But you learn about long-term relationships, family dynamics, negotiation, compromise, and finding out what's most important in a trip.
Trips do have a way of bringing out all the important dynamics in life. I echo your thoughts here, Chris. Goes along with more time off from work for adults, and more time unplugged. Thanks for sharing.
I totally agree with those three, and the fourth of family dinner. Depending on my husband's schedule, we sometimes eat dinner at 4pm or at 8pm (I know, encroaching on that sleep!), but my husband, daughter, and I eat dinner together every day. I also take daily walks with my daughter in her carrier and just this week she started touching the pine needles on the low hanging branches. She smiles and now has initiated it herself - she is just turning 1 year old next week. We are lucky to live near woods with plenty of trails for hiking and a nice bike path in a wooded area.
Reading time--done not to improve test scores, but because it makes us happy!
In our family, we read together every morning and every evening, usually for about 10-30 minutes, but sometimes longer. We started doing this when my first was a baby, and are still doing it now, even though she can read chapter books on her own.
Books are great spring boards for discussing all kinds of life lessons. And reading together is a great way to start and finish a day by cuddling, feeling bonded and sharing an enjoyable activity.
More on reading for happiness here: http://www.leportschools.com/blog/reading-for-happiness/