One of the best ways of being present is in a boat!
The other day a 20-year-old dropped by for a visit. This was not just anybody, but an adored babysitter who used to play with the kids close to daily before she went off to college. But though we were thrilled to see her, there was something different. She wavered between present and absent every two minutes. A smartphone was constantly in her hand. One moment she was there, the next she'd vanish, fingers flying on the screen. She was a text addict.
During our visit she must have sent or received 50 messages. Her father says she sends 60,000 a month. It was as if the smartphone were an extension of her body. She's one of millions worldwide - the new generation of "digital natives," as I've learned to call them. People who are not only comfortable with all the gadgets of technology, but can't live without them.
"It's just a generation gap," someone told me. Sure, but this texting, constantly plugged in generation is fast becoming the new set of young parents, and that concerns me. Because young kids need us to be present. Young children are on the same evolutionary track they've always been on. They have the same needs their ancestors did thousands of years ago. They need to gain social skills, have practice reading emotions on human faces, and be surrounded by caring - and present - people.
I see the new digital natives parenting in the park - tapping messages and clicking gadgets while mmhmmming their kids. We don't need to give our kids complete attention all the time. Of course, not. Adults have lives, too, and part of parenting is multi-tasking, but we need to exist in the same world. That's one reason why I only blog once a week and limit screen time for my kids. I'm raising children. Computers take us away from this world. We need to stay present.
What are your tips for staying present? Have you achieved the right balance of gadget time? Do you consider yourself a digital immigrant or a digital native?
Heather -
You bring up a real concern - today's youth are being consumed by technology.
When clients come into my treatment room I ask them to either turn their cell phones off or to switch them to vibrate. The deer-in-the-headlamps look on the teenaged faces would have you think I'm going to surgically remove it.
Like you, I only blog once a week. Preferring to read, we have not had a television for over 32 years. And while we do have and enjoy technology, I limit my online time.
Fascinating - I wonder how many people will be treated for technology - social imbalances.
I try to be a "last adopter" of all new technologies. I let all the young and tech savvy folks experiment, use, improve, and discard technologies before I venture into the abyss. I only use my cell phone for emergencies or while traveling and have never sent a text message, don't have any music on an MP3 player (just a few e-audio books), still use my land line phone for 99% of my communication, and wouldn't dream of electronic multitasking in the presence of another human being with whom I was interacting except for the aforesaid emergency situation.
I fear for what humans are becoming in the face of all this electronic manipulation by businesses.
Chris
A good strategy! Your fear is valid and I hope people keep alert with all these changes.
Somehow my household has become a consumer electronics Mecca--there are ipads and ipods and phones and computers...and of course my own darling digital natives happily surfing their way through it, at least until I cut the power and send everyone outside...And don't even ask them what they think about No Electricity Tuesdays. But the tech has made some very unexpected connections--the kids game in real-time with cousins using headsets if they can't get together in person, my father and my three year old niece call me on Facetime relentlessly, and through Facebook I've connected in a meaningful way with cousins that I rarely see in person--and because of that I've got two (live, in-person family reunions that I'm planning for next summer at our farm.) However, the texting hasn't taken hold here...lucky thing we have horrible cell service.
Yes, long-lost connections with cousins is certainly a boon. I like the sound of No Electricity Tuesdays! Do you stop writing then, too?
Writing is exempt from restrictions on No Electricity Tuesdays, as is The Big Bang Theory (which we watch as a family and use as a tool to teach the kids about..ahem..the facts of life.)