Offering the Right Help

By Heather Shumaker

I read a news story recently about two Americans who traveled overseas to climb mountains. They stopped to visit a group children's home while they were there. Stunned to see children playing in an empty schoolyard with only old tires and no playground equipment, they came home to raise $10,000 to buy playground equipment.

This story bothered me on several levels.

For one thing, the travelers reported they were amazed to see children playing with so little. Maybe they were amazed to see children playing at all. True play can be rather rare to see these days in America.

True play is child-initiated and child-directed. It can occur on a blank playground. It can occur with a few tires. Children can play - and do play - when all they are given is space and time. My childhood elementary school playground in the US also had a blank playground. No playground equipment: just a rectangular yard with nothing in it. A year or so later they upgraded the playground by adding a few old tires. It was good either way: recess was still wonderful.

The main ingredient kids need for play, is what we often withhold: TIME.

This story made me think about play, but also about human compassion and our urge to help.

When we can help someone, it's important to ask how best to help. Raising thousands of dollars can certainly be helpful - but what does the school need? Maybe in this case another teacher, or a bus. What about a well, books for a library, or medical care?

The urge to help is wonderful. But - whether you are dealing with an overseas trip or a young child who is frustrated when her fort falls down - remember to be respectful and ask the experts. The experts are the children. The experts are the people who live there. The experts are the ones involved.

"What would you like me to do?" "How can I help?"

Pause. Ask. Listen. Together you will figure it out.

Have you ever had fun on a blank playground? What works for you when asking or accepting help?

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Heather
Shumaker
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